Understanding Part-Time Dating Dynamics (An Old Prose)

*This prose was written in 2018; I think it’s old, and life has changed since, but the prose I wrote was sitting, and I decided to publish it.*

Again, it has been a slow dating month. I haven’t gotten past online conversations/ Chats/ text messages. It happens; sometimes, you say the wrong thing, and the other person moves on. They may have found a person that is a better fit for them. I don’t know, but most of my responses have not produced anything fruitful. When a new guy stepped up and messaged me, he explained he liked my profile and went into depth about things I wrote in my profile. I was so excited; he seemed calm and genuinely wanted to know me. We talked about Gotham and went into full detail, from Falcone, Victor Zsasz, penguin, and all the characters. I was getting a good vibe. We continued to talk, and after a few moments, I realized he had a type “A” personality. We exchanged email addresses since our mailboxes on the dating site were full. Upon moving to email, I realized maybe he wasn’t entirely into me. I could only contact him after 8 pm and was not allowed to contact him during the day. All conversations must end by 10:30 pm because he had to sleep. He didn’t see the need to talk every day.

Talking to him, I was perplexed. He seemed superficial, a bit condescending, and aloof. I felt like I was being chastised for emailing him during my lunch break. If I messaged him, he would respond, “I am washing my clothes. I will message you later.” I guess I still operate like a teenager or in my early 20s. I thought people who were into each other at least communicated with each other frequently. Maybe not every day, but every few days.  I am confused. Are you into me? So why not speak with me? Why not talk to me and learn about my cadences, tone, and voice infliction? Better yet, let me learn about you before we sit at the table and hate each other. Please don’t assume you know everything about me from my social media and dating profile. I can’t find any extra information about him other than his hobbies. Is he just going through the motions because he feels he has to? Or maybe he had a bad experience and was trying to be laid back and cool?


I realized, while talking to him, that dating is changing again. I am not used to men who don’t put effort into learning about a person. It seems to be the norm that people only want to part-time date. Part-time dating is when you treat it as a part-time job. No real investment; you’re just here to get a check, well, in this case, sex or as-needed companionship. It’s not quite a Jump-off territory or situation, but it’s not a relationship, and it doesn’t have enough emotional connection for a relationship. Maybe I need to reevaluate how often I would like to talk to someone and be realistic. Starting in March, I will accept if I only speak to someone once a week. I will no longer assume a man’s level of interest based on the intensity of their communication frequency. I will evaluate my ideals. I had one guy who texted me over 2000 messages a month, and we never met. Another man with whom I was in constant contact for a week before we decided to go our separate ways, so maybe only talking once a week would work better. Maybe having a designated time and date to talk will be a better fit. I should be more open to different experiences.



I hate having time restraints, and this seems like a controlling technique. Maybe it’s not, and I am just super undisciplined. I am not sure how this will affect getting to know him. Since he has already read and seen my social media, I am not great at hiding information online. LOL (seriously) He may read this blog and decide never to talk to me again. Geez. Maybe March will be a better month for me.

Update: It didn’t work out. I was told I was too clingy and needed to find some hobbies. I only talked to him on Mondays after Gotham for 30 minutes. I am glad it didn’t work out; I would have been on several strict schedules to communicate with him.