What’s the best advice you’d give to someone younger than you?
A WordPress prompt got me thinking recently: what’s one piece of advice you’d give someone younger than you? And honestly, it made me realize something: a lot of people give the wrong kind of advice to younger people. They hand out unsolicited wisdom and then get offended when it’s not welcomed or when they get called a “Boomer”. Well, I agree you’re acting like an out-of-touch Boomer.
So here’s my approach instead. When someone actually asks me for advice, I don’t just start talking. I ask them one question first: “What are you looking for?”
Financial advice, career advice, life advice, relationship advice these are not the same thing, and I refuse to pretend they are. So I ask, and then I give them exactly what they came for. Here’s what that looks like in practice.
On Career
If you ask me for career advice, I’ll tell you the truth as I see it.
Use AI as a tool, not a ghostwriter. Use it to get the right keywords into your resume. Companies are running AI screening on applications now, so you need to speak that language to get your resume in front of a human in the first place. Research the prompts; don’t reinvent the wheel. Once you’ve got a draft, go back through it and humanize it; adjust the language so it actually sounds like you. But keep the keywords. It works!
Use your connections, all of them! Family, community, religious groups, school, your favorite cashier at Target whatever network you have access to, use it. We’ve somehow convinced an entire generation that asking for help makes you “a user.” It doesn’t. Being an actual user or abuser takes a lot more than asking someone for a favor or an introduction. You’re not exploiting people by tapping the relationships in your life to get somewhere; that’s just how it’s always worked. And don’t be shy about asking questions either. Most people aren’t rude, and you’ll find someone willing to point you in the right direction. Also, be willing to help others if someone gives you a lead that leads to a job or opportunity. Say thank you, and be open to helping them if they ever ask, or helping someone else get a leg up.
Hi future self… yes, people will try to take advantage of you when you offer help. You have to develop this skill called discernment.
And one more thing: say thank you. After someone helps you, tell them you appreciate it. It matters.
On Money
There is so much financial advice out there, and everyone’s opinion is different—my honest recommendation: see a professional. If a financial advisor feels out of reach, you almost certainly have access to a bank or credit union. Ask to sit down with a banker and talk it through your budget, your credit card debt, your savings. Don’t let them sell you a loan to pay down your debt unless it’s for you. But yeah, you pay for them by using the bank or credit union, using their resources.
Here’s a tip most people won’t tell you: it’s okay to ask for someone closer to your own age. We assume wisdom automatically comes with age, so we ask someone in their 50s or 60s. Still, someone in their early 30s who recently experienced what you’re in- a new career, first real paycheck, no idea what to do with it often understands your situation better than someone decades removed from it. Yes, it might feel awkward to ask. Advocate for yourself anyway. Don’t take Jim’s advice if he bought his house in 1999 for $80,000 and isn’t paying any student loans. Jim’s first response to you is to stop buying Lattes at Starbucks. “No one is buying Starbucks, Jim!”
Start investing now, with whatever you have. Old advice said to save up $10,000 before you even thought about investing, have no consumer debt, and yada yada yada. That’s outdated. You can start with $5, $10, $20 a week — whatever you can manage without messing up your finances. I started with $20 a week because that’s all I could swing, and I was in severe debt. I also understood that not being in the market was hurting me. So I started building that habit with Stash; it made a real difference over time.
And here’s the part people don’t like to hear: it’s okay to use that money when you actually need it. Long-term investing is great, but if you need that money to survive, to cover rent, a bill, an emergency, take care of yourself first. You can always get back in the market, but make sure you are secure. What good is it to build the habit. The exception is retirement accounts like an IRA, which are built for the long haul. Everything else is there to serve you, not the other way around.
On Relationships
This one’s simple, and it’s the hardest to hear: if someone you trust tells you a person in your life doesn’t have your back, listen.
If someone warns you, “don’t go with that person,” “that person isn’t your friend,” take it seriously, especially if it’s coming from someone who genuinely loves you and has no reason to lie. ( Culturally, especially if it’s a Black woman or Latino woman who says those statements, listen… they have an eerie sixth sense about people.) People who care about you will sometimes see things you can’t see yourself. You don’t have to act on every warning from every person, but pay attention when it comes from someone who’s earned your trust.
Cutting ties is hard. It gets harder as you get older. But you will make new friends; it just takes time.
That’s it. That’s all the advice I’ve got. It’s not polished, and it’s not the kind of thing you’ll find framed on a motivational poster, but it’s what’s actually carried me through, one honest answer at a time, to the question that was actually being asked. Now if you would like more advice, just leave a comment or you can buy me a coffee –> https://ko-fi.com/chemichelletales
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